Last December I wrote a blog post called Don’t Lose Your Mind Because of a Bad eBay Buyer.  I used to have a talent for soaking up angry people’s energy and turning it into anxiety.  Of course, I wouldn’t show these feelings to anyone.  I would keep all my feelings pent up inside.

Yeah…I know…such a healthy way of being.

The past couple of months, I’ve really been working on not losing my mind over difficult people’s anger management issues.  When I get negative feedback, I’ll repeat to myself, “Their anger has nothing to do with me”.  This definitely helped me deal with angry people, but I have to admit that it didn’t fix my problem 100%.  I still needed something more.

I’m glad to report that last night I found something that helped me in dealing with difficult people.  I listened to the audio clip on Byron Katie’s blog called I Can’t Stand My Best Friend and it really gave me tips in dealing with angry, negative, difficult people.

If you’re not familiar with Byron Katie’s “The Work”, you can go visit thework.com for more information.  It might help you to understand the audio clip more fully. You can also download the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet.

I really hope this will help you out too.

I sell original paintings on eBay, and every once in awhile  I get an eBay buyer who sends me an email saying how disappointed they are in my services; and every time, I feel horrible.

I care about my customers.  However, at times, I think I care TOO much.

Sometimes the customer’s disappointment is my fault, but I’ll do everything in my power to fix the situation.  Most times those customers will leave happy or return again for more business.  It makes me feel good to know that I’m trustworthy and I’m doing my best to satisfy my customers.

Other times, I get a customer whose problem I cannot fix.  The disappointment usually has to do with the post office delivery time.  I ship paintings within two days of receiving payment for the painting, and then the delivery is totally out of my control.  If a parcel is late, open communication is essential.  After I call the Post Office or US Customs, explain to the customer why the parcel is late, the customer is usually very patient.  However, every once in awhile the buyer will reply with a nasty email, usually with reasons as to why they will never buy paintings from me again.  Even though I know I can’t fix the problem and I had nothing to do with the slow delivery, I still feel horrible.

Again, I care TOO much.

There are those types of customers that you just cannot please, no matter what you say or do.  I have to learn how to deal with such customers, without getting knots in my stomach and losing my mind.  The illogical stress can’t be good for me.  So when I have to deal with these bad eBay buyers who are blaming me for things that are obviously out of my control, I’m going to start repeating to myself:

“Their anger has nothing to do with me.”

There’s a problem with the customer that’s much deeper than getting a late parcel in the mail.  My job is to make and sell art, not to fix people.

(You may also want to read How to be at Peace Around Negative People.)